Sparklehorse, It's a Wonderful Life (2001)
I can draw a stick figure from memory. The way we "default" to a stick figure blends diverse visual influences (cartoons, bathroom signs, ancient petroglyphs) into a single, unified shorthand. That's me. That is me on the paper. It's a true ritual! A mindless order of head, torso, limbs. Even a simple sketch becomes a "thing" in the world: a physical anchor for an abstract idea, much like a crude votive offering. The messy, unpolished way real people express their identity outside of formal, high-art theology.
The other day I got a spam caller who had the decency to leave a message.
"Listen, you were the closest to making a difference this time. Listen, we can't be making these big decisions without you Ape. And listen to yourself for once!"
And in that moment I wanted to be an astronaut more than anything. "Good luck, buddy!" they'd say. My space ship would be state-of-the-art and have every type of beverage imaginable. In space I would drink Kool-Aid out of pouches. My bed would be made of sawdust, like a hamster. I would scream all the time until my voice was withered. I'd have the space agency give me better navigation than I currently have because my maps are only for Earth. I hope I could have Walter Cronkite give me my turn-by-turn directions.
Until then, I'm still here. Sleep came and went as it usually does. Without any communicable witnesses beyond myself, it’s hard to say if the universe played a trick on me in my unconsciousness. Maybe I was dressed in women's clothes and made to dance by powerful unimaginable beings. Or possibly only a minute moment between drifting and awaking; the sun hiding just beyond dawn to drag the curtain of light to the sky with a thunderous “Surprise!” - too far from earth to be heard but containing the sentiment within regardless. Who’s to say. Well, plenty of people probably. I’m sure many of the folks in town will just give me a ‘queer’ eye of judgment, thinking what a ‘queer’ theory that is. Just a good thing they didn’t see the unimaginable beings parading me all looney and cross-dressed.
In space, when I go to bed on my hamster bed, I'd be listening to this album.